Friday, September 15, 2006

Travels in Iberia II: The Three Bears

In between that moment when we were driving on the ubiquitous motorways leading out of Lisbon city, and the other winding down the heavily tourist-resorted coastal area in Cascais, we entered a bosky realm of pointed castle turrets and mammoth moss-covered trees crowding out the dancing sunlight. In what seemed like one upward curve in the road, we found ourselves in an archetypal fairyland, with dense undergrowths of ferns and grey stone walls stained with every shade of sierra on the sides.
Ok, if you photoshopped away the tourist buses and backpackers who were commendably walking their way to the top (who probably saw more lilyponds, gingerbread houses and real fairies along the way), you could probably understand why this particular corner of the European continent was eulogized by poets:

"If I had Aladdin's lamp, the genius should transport me, my household and my books to Sintra....the most blessed spot in the habitable globe, will almost bring tears to my eyes." - Robert Southey

And for course it was Lord Byron's "glorious Eden", and Samual Taylor Coleridge always said he was going to retire there.

It was probably the best part of the entire trip for me, and the one that I was most looking forward to. The two German sisters that we met the night before were completely raving about it, and hey, who wouldn't want to visit the place which inspired Southey's (thought popularly to be Grimm's) "Goldilocks and the Three Bears"! :-)

I can't quite figure what it was that lent to this sense of unreality. Maybe it was the spruce and fir vegetation (lush, but not the Kota Tinggi kind of lush, as I was telling my travel buddy), or the strange mountaintop Pena castle with its colorful assemblage of minarets and sentry boxes (on entering the front gate of the castle, it looked exactly like the place where a wicked king might have locked up Rapunzel!), or because you could just imagine yourself spending a whole summer here sitting on a moldy bench at the edge of pretty Monteserrat town writing a book while little rabbits and frogs skipped past you into the forest.

One wished there was more time to explore the Park (the castle's private forest) with its lakes, trees and walking trails. Or to explore the other palace, a little way below that had an intriguing name like Sete Ais ("Seven Sighs") and attractions like the Magpie Room.








We spent most of our time in the curious Pena castle, which was an absorbing blend of Hispanic-Moorish architecture on the outside and Italian renaissance drawing rooms and toilets on the inside. It had an amazing balcony looking out to the Sintra borough, with the ocean in the distance, and clouds rolling over the hills dotted with clusters of Portugese red steep roofs at your feet. That particular scenary from that vantage point had a deep impact on me, because I had always pictured that when God set on Judgement Day on His great high throne, this would be the picture before His eyes, his beautiful natural creation before Him, and his people coming out of their houses to meet Him.

I think it was at that moment during my trip when I was looking out of the glass-less windows of the stone balcony that my mind started to really rest from the stresses of pre-holiday deadlines, and to let the cool mist take away mundane cares...

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Finding God I: A Personal Note

From the preface of Finding God, by Larry Crabb:

"Let me tell you why I wrote this book.

I have come to a place in my life where I need to know God better or I won't make it. Life at times has a way of throwing me into such blinding confusion and severe pain that I lose all hope. Joy is gone. Nothing encourages me.

Perhaps the most important lesson I learn as I go through dark seasons is this; there is no escape in this life from pain and problems. I can live obediently, practice spiritual disciplines , and claim my identity in Christ, but problems still continue.

More than anything else, I need a person to trust, someone who can give me hope, joy and peace in the midst of lie's unpredictable struggles. A plan to follow is not good enough. Applying biblical principles does not always make things happen as I want. Without someone to trust, I must either pretend things are better then they are or live to relieve the pain. And if neither denial nor efforts to relieve pain do the job, I will end my life through immorality or craziness or suicide.

The rhetoric we're all used to - "just trust the Lord, pray more, get counseling, follow God's plan more carefully" - must give way to the reality of finding God.

I wrote this book in response to the desperate cry of my heart to know God better. More than ever before, I am convinced that God yearns to be known by us far more than we want to know Him, and his great work in us to increase our passion for knowing him until it is stronger than all other passions. Developing that passion in our hearts is a long difficult process to which God is relentlessly committed. The way is hard, the road less traveled than others, but the journey is worth it.

God is immeasurable good, and He can be trusted."

(from page 11)

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Travels in Iberia I: Lonely Planet Guides

Some of the guidebooks used during the trip. There really isn't a perfect guide, but some are better than others depending on the place you visit. Lonely Planet is the overall best for cities, methinks, while Eyewitness is pretty good for less urbanite areas(as long as you have another decent map to get to those ulu spots!) as it has nice birdseye's drawings and photos. The Rough Guide was surprisingly useful and very detailed although the layout's kinda drab.

And there was one other book companion which I was glad to have brought along:
Read the book twice, front-to-back, during the trip. Forward Scout had sent intelligence ahead of time that the moo flight to Madrid was long, not to mention inflight-entertainment-free. I grabbed the book off "the shelf of yet-unread books", minutes before heading for the aiport (which was quite fortuitous indeed, since there were very many yet-unread-books on the aforementioned shelf). Well, I think it did go a long way to prevent this holiday from becoming another spiritual vacation, as tends to happen when one was in a new place distracted with new sights and stuff.

Have you read any books that spoke uncannily of your mind and tells alarmingly of your heart? I have read only a few of those, and this was one of them.

More, later.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Travels in Iberia

Was travelling in Spain and Portugal for 2 weeks, and saw, as expected, many amazing things - astonishing mountains, the other end of the ocean, great buildings and works of art. Learnt a lot too about history, people, culture, cooking and ourselves.

At present though feeling jetlagged and cross-eyed from clearing 400 emails from the berry.

There should be time in the near future hopefully for putting words to images and remembering the things that God spoke of during this time.

It was such a great trip, but you know, I did miss the rainforest rain now falling sideways into the Treehouse balcony (which happily kept the plants alive by the way) ...

Monday, August 21, 2006

Babel Fish

Was reading an interesting essay on how poetry is used in bilingual education the other day. Got me musing again on bible translators and the work they do.

Further to the last post, for those who are interested in compare and contrast with Babelfish.
Houses in a line, in a line,
In a line there,
Squares, squares, squares,
Even people now have square souls,
Ideas in file, I declare,
And on their shoulders, angles wear.
Just yesterday I shed a tear and it
Oh, God, was square!

It was another evening on the phone with BF. Couldn't help but feel one's tears were too square.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Persuasion

It was the misfortune of poetry, to be seldom safely enjoyed by those who enjoyed it completely; and that the strong feelings which alone could estimate it truly, were the very feelings which ought to taste it but sparingly.

- Anne Elliot, Persuasion by Jane Austen

I feel like starting this.:


Sunday, July 30, 2006

The First Return

I slept for most of the plane journey back which was unusual indeed. Didn't realized how exhausting the First Return Trip as a Visitor was.

There was a long queue at the customs both at the arrival and departure halls. At arrival, I remembered to join the Visitors queue (verily long it was) but did not remember to fill up the embarkation card as I was so used to just flashing the HKID. The officer was nice about it, and said Welcome Back to Hong Kong. They still had the sour plum sweets at the counters.

The 2006 Offsite was held at Aberdeen in mahogany rooms filled with ancient marine maps and other colonial artifacts. While doing multiple presentations in the long boardroom, one had the view of the southern rocky islands set in the bluish grey South China Sea.

The Ritz had the view of Statue Square set against the Bank of China, Cheung Kong and the mid-levels. I was only on the 7th floor, but this gave the eye the perfect elevation view of the city set against the cloud-capped Victorian Peak range. There's something about that sight. It's Hong Kong at its most elegant and beautiful. In the diffused lighting of a drizzly summer morning, it would still be one of the most romantic views in my mind of any city.

Causeway Bay became doubly crowded with pedestrians holding up large golf umbrellas in the rain that fell relentlessly from morning till the afternon.

The sashimi steak was still as thick and scrumptious at Yun Shan. :)

It was an exhausting week - I had almost forgotten how much information there was to take in constantly in Hong Kong. How the mind has had to jump from one thing to another. To listen to 12 different accents from the world over in the office. The flood of familiar faces in the church congregation in a sea of new faces. People coming and going and coming back again in this pulsating city that was home for a while.

But it was still a good week of conversations with life's best friends - how many of those might be our last ones face to face for a while? Of seeing things come to a full circle and knowing that healing can, and has occured. And then of putting away past mistakes, and hurts, and laughing about headless chickens and fainting goats.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Daily Quotes

The Mammon Tower has a Viridian Green gym on the 9th floor with a Deep Azure pool that's too heavy for it. Outside the gym, there is small Ebony chalkboard on which a different quote appears each day. I usually only notice it on the way home, being too rushed and hungry in the morning to contemplate what's written on it. Most days, the last words of wisdom encountered are as tired as the working day, "You never fail at anything, you only learn how to succeed in that thing" .

The other day, I saw one which stood out from the usual motivational soundbites.

"The tree that has few leaves stands strongest in the wind."

Simplicity in life has its advantage. Being too much adorned with possessions and toys of this world often means a greater sense of insecurity in crisis times. Must remember that.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Pick-up Sticks

Rules: Each player gets twenty or thirty multicoloured sticks and tosses them on the ground and tries to pick up as many as possible, one at a time, without disturbing the rest.


It just struck me the other day that I don't think we can play pick-up sticks with people. In relating to someone, you can't just choose the parts that you are comfortable with and avoid those that interwine and touch like spaghetti with the scarier parts, all in for fear of losing the game. By doing that, you are already out of the game, and you will only be dealing with the peripheral and superficial. What it really takes is great care, patience and perception to decide which stick to move first, the right order at the right time, gently, so that you don't scramble the delicate sticks or the person.

Monday, July 17, 2006

A Martian Sends A Postcard Home


Was reminded of another favorite funny poem for the night skies during a green laser demo on Sunday :)


Caxtons are mechanical birds with many wings
and some are treasured for their markings

--they cause the eyes to melt
or the body to shriek without pain.

I have never seen one fly, but
sometimes they perch on the hand.

Mist is when the sky is tired of flight
and rests its soft machine on ground:

then the world is dim and bookish
like engravings under tissue paper.

Rain is when the earth is television.
It has the property of making colours darker.

Model T is a room with the lock inside
--a key is turned to free the world

for movement, so quick there is a film
to watch for anything missed.

But time is tied to the wrist
or kept in a box, ticking with impatience.

In homes, a haunted apparatus sleeps,
that snores when you pick it up.

If the ghost cries, they carry itto their lips
and soothe it to sleepwith sounds.

And yet they wake it up deliberately,
by tickling with a finger.

Only the young are allowed to sufferopenly.
Adults go to a punishment roomwith water but nothing to eat.

They lock the door and suffer the noises alone.
No one is exemptand everyone's pain has a different smell.

At night when all the colours die, they hide in pairs
and read about themselves --in colour, with their eyelids shut

- Craig Raine

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Night Poem

A favorite night poem.

We were very tired, we were very happy
We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry.
It was bare and bright, and smelled like a stable
But we looked into a fire, we leaned across a table,
We lay on a hill-top underneath the moon;
And the whistles kept blowing and the dawn came soon.

We were very tired, we were very merry
We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry
And you ate an apple, and I ate a pear,
From a dozen of each we had bought somewhere;
And the sky went wan, and the wind came cold,
The sun rose dripping, a bucketful of gold.

We were very tired, we were very merry
We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry.
We hailed, "Good morrow, mother!" to a shawl-covered head,
And bought a morning paper, which neither of us read;
And she wept, "God bless you!" for the apples and pears,
And we gave her all our money but our subway fares.

- Recuerdo, Edna St.Vincent Millay (1892-1951)

This Week's Economist

Interesting reads from The Economist this week:

Wall Street vs Wall Street Why the stock prices of U.S. investment banks are lacklusture despite record earnings (read: why the recent announcement that we will get more stock options in lieu of cash bonuses does not bode well :-( ).

Obituary of Kenneth Lay, founder of Enron, who died of a massive heart attack last week - he believed he was innocent until the end, and was likened to Job in his misfortunes. erhmm.

Every older brother that a man has increases his chances of being homosexual by 33%. Having younger brothers and female siblings have no effect on his sexual orientation.

The Confucius Institute is fast becoming an icon of Chinese language and culture overseas, much like the Goethe Institute, Alliance Francaise and the British Council are for the respective countries they represent.

(Note: Some articles are only available in the print edition in the staff lounge)

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Variations On A Word

This is a word we use to plug
holes with. It's the right size for those warm
blanks in speech, for those red heart-
shaped vacancies on the page that look nothing
like real hearts. Add lace
and you can sell it.

We insert it also in the one empty
space on the printed form
that comes with no instructions. There are whole
magazines with not much in them
but the word Love, you can
rub it all over your body and you
can cook with it too. How do we know
it isn't what goes on at the cool
debaucheries of slugs under damp
pieces of cardboard? As for the weed-
seedlings nosing their tough snouts up
among the lettuces, they shout it.

Love! Love! sing the soldiers, raising

their glittering knives in salute.

Then there's the two
of us. This word

is far too short for us, it has only
four letters, too sparse
to fill those deep bare
vacuums between the stars
that press on us with their deafness.
It's not love we don't wish
to fall into, but that fear.
this word is not enough but it will
have to do. It's a single
vowel in this metallic
silence, a mouth that says
O again and again in wonder
and pain, a breath, a finger
grip on a cliffside. You can
hold on or let go.

- Margaret Atwood

Like BF was saying tonight, "it" is definitely there, but is "it" enough for them to risk it all, to "hold on" or to "let go"?

Atwood calls "it" the word that "has only four letters" - a little word that purports to hold up so much. "Far too short", "too sparse". Now, that's quite true, isn't it? "It's not love that [polar bears] don't want to fall into, but that fear."

Only a much longer Love, made of Infinite letters, that fills all of silence and Eternity will do.

(Came across the Brian Evans gallery of soundscapes. It's lovely to see how he puts colour and shapes to music.)

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Turquoise Lakes








(Photos of Jiuzhaigou, Sichuan, 2001)

Was talking to someone about travels in Sichuan and remembered these scenes. Gorgeous, ain't it?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Song

Was strangely hit with a wave of nostalgia while watching Sylvia Chang's "20-30-40" during the weekend - I suspect, but cannot confirm, that it was because of the music (the film was okay only).

愛的代價 - 張艾嘉

还记得年少时的梦吗?
像朵永远不凋零的花
陪我经过那风吹雨打
看世事无常 看沧桑变化

那些为爱所付出的代价
是永远都难忘的啊
所有真心的 痴心的话
永在我心中虽然已没有他

* 走吧 走吧 
人总要学著自己长大
走吧 走吧 
人生难免经历苦痛挣扎
走吧 走吧 
为自己的心找一个家
也曾伤心流泪 也曾黯然心碎
这是爱的代价 *

也许我偶而还是会想他
偶而难免会惦记著他
就当他是个老朋友啊
也让我心疼 也让我牵掛

只是我心中不再有火花
让往事都随风去吧
所有真心的 痴心的话
永在我心中
虽然已没有他

Friday, June 23, 2006

The Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine.
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

- William Blake

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Pearls before Swine

This is my favorite comic strip after Peanuts.

At its heart, Pearls Before Swine is the comic strip tale of two friends: a megalomaniacal Rat who thinks he knows it all and a slow-witted Pig who doesn't know any better. Together, this pair offers caustic commentary on humanity's quest for the unattainable. The title of the strip comes from the New Testament, and is taken from the phrase, "Don't cast your pearls before swine." In this case, Rat believes that he is an endless source of wisdom, and that it is wasted upon Pig, who is rather slow. In truth, neither of them is very smart, but while Pig is content with his humble status in life, Rat is always on a futile search for fame, riches and immortality.
It's super funny.





























One of the sharpest cartoons around, methinks.

But it's tender and honest too. Have loved sending and receiving Pearls before Swine e-Cards.



I'm bored.





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About the Cartoonist
Stephan Pastis is an attorney-cum-activist who maintained his interest in UCLA Law School by creating Rat stories in his class notebook margins. Stephan actually practiced law in the San Francisco Bay Area before succumbing to full-time cartooning. Pastis lives with his family in northern California. He says his first and strongest influence is Charles Schulz. I always wondered if he is a Christian like Schulz.


Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Blank_Joy

She who did not come, wasn’t she determined
nonetheless to organize and decorate my heart?
If we had to exist to become the one we love,
what would the heart have to create?

Lovely joy left blank, perhaps you are
the center of all my labors and my loves.
If I’ve wept for you so much, it’s because
I preferred you among so many outlined joys.

— Rainer Maria Rilke (1875 - 1926)


Was reminded of this poem a few times this week - walking with BF in the nurseries and talking about "falling short of certainty", with a colleague about "searching all over again for hope", with thePensiveOne about uber G gal, and generally thinking about "incomplete joy" in the here-and-now.

We know who left the blank. Looking forward to it being filled finally.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Pre-Book Review and Top Ten List

Sara Nelson, So Many Books, So Little Time: A Year of Passionate Reading. New York: Putnam Publishing Group, 2003.

"I have a New Year's plan: I'm setting out to read a book a week for the next year and write a diary of the experience," write Sara Nelson in her memoir So Many Books, So Little Time. But this book is much more than what she intended it to be. It reads like a memoir including interracial marriage, sibling rivalry, teaching an eight-year-old to hit a baseball, erotic literature, all these seemingly disparate elements of Nelson's life brought to bear on the art of choosing the next good read. By the end, Nelson admits, "[ ... ] for every moment that was exhilarating, there was one that was frustrating. For every reading experience that was edifying, there was one that was elusive. And just as I thought I had a handle on what I was doing and how important it all was, I realized I was as clueless as ever." But what a great read the year made for the rest of us.

Nelson begins the new year with a reading list and a plan "to read a lot of nonfiction, to pay attention to poetry, to fill in at least some of the holes in my [literature] education," but finds that by the end of week one even the best laid plans fall through. Nelson starts with Ted Heller's Funnymen but becomes distracted due to her physical location--a secluded Vermont lodge once inhabited by the exiled Russian thinker and writer Alexander Solzhenitsyn. As Nelson attempts to read Funnymen, she finds herself blending her present situation into the narrative of the novel. "But suddenly it's not so Funny. In the book, Heller is describing the honky-tonk vaudevillian atmosphere of a Catskills nightclub; I look up for a moment and see hard ground and bare, frozen trees. One character refers to the 'A-bomb' nature of the act because it 'kills' so well, and I wander into the Russian Orthodox chapel the author built for himself in the basement." Moments like this occur throughout the book as Nelson vividly draws us into her interior world of reading so we too can experience a year dedicated to reading--something most book lovers can only dream about.

I haven't actually read the book. The blurb above is from Barnes and Noble. Here are the other 9 books that I would (currently) like to read this year.


Friday, June 16, 2006

little i

While discussing the Riding Alone movie with a walktalk friend yesterday evening, I was surprised at the surge of emotion that rose up with the memory of a particular season of life that I associated with growing up -too fast. It was strange indeed that the memory could still bring back those feelings of reluctance to reliquish dependency and a childish envy for carefree-ness.

Later at night, while sorting my lunchtime treasurefinds from BooksActually, I saw that I had somehow picked up this poem by ee cummings, typed-produced line by line on graph paper on an Olivetti Lettera.

who are you, little i
(five or six years old) peering
from some high
window;
at the gold
of november sunset
(and the feeling;
that if day
has to become night
this is a beautiful way)

- ee cummings

And it was true. That same reluctant period saw some of the greatest miracles of provision and mercies from the Father, who loved His child enough to let her grow up.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Movie: <千哩走单骑 > Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles













He rode thousands of miles alone

In the wild blue mountains
Of a strange yellow land
To find the courage of Lord Kuan
Not for battle of the kingdoms
But to say sorry to a son.

Behind the black veil of a red mask
He weeps for himself and the boy
That hurts for his embrace
He sings to the loud suo na
Of brave deeds and war heroes
His voice drowned by tears.

A old man and a child are lost
In the wild blue mountains
Of a strange yellow land
They hold each other tight
One has ridden thousands of miles
So that the other is not alone.

(Written after watching the movie)

(Photo by In_and_out_of_Focus)

A Connecting Question

Fell asleep on this rainy Sunday afternoon counting the "funny-shaped sheep of God" one has encountered in the past week. Thinking quite a lot these few days about the potential for powerful kindness, and equally powerful cruelty, within the people of God in church. One heals, the other destroys. Crabb thinks that our ability to reach through the bad dynamics of sinful hearts and touch the holy appetites beneath depends on the answer to this question:

"Are we so empowered by the Gospel that we are disposed to continue believing in another's miraculously granted goodness, and to therefore find delight in the other, no matter what degree of ugliness we encounter?"

- From "Connecting", by Larry Crabb

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Where the SideWalk Ends

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

-Shel Silverstein