If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
'I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'—
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,—
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1850) *
This speaks true of the kind of love each of us are looking for, whether we realize it at first, or admit it in the end. More than wanting someone to love us for our qualities, we want that person to love us simply for who we are. In every being who is celebrated by another for his/her beauty, or intelligence, or kindness, there is a secret yearning to be loved regardless of these. Indeed, Elizabeth Browning says that even love borne out of deep empathy, might change when the need for empathy diminishes because the object has been strengthened by that love!
There is of course only One who loves on, through love's eternity...who truly loves "for love's sake".
* Sonnet XIV is from Elizabeth Browning's most famous work "Sonnets from the Portugese", a collection of 44 sonnets dedicated to her husband Robert Browning, recording the growth of her love for him. The pair are possibly the most well-loved poets of the Romantic Era. Deeply ingrained in their works on celebrating romantic love, is their faith in the God of love.
"Poets' hands" - bronze cast of the clasped hands of Elizabeth Browning and Robert Browning, photograph from The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC.
