Waiting, Not Waiting

A close gal friend of mine just put down the deposit for the purchase of a property for herself in Hong Kong after getting fed up of paying rent which has been escalating out of proportion in the SAR. She was telling me how another (Singaporean) female friend asked her how she felt about the decision. Did she feel pressured by the thought of having such a big financial commitment? Did she not wish that if there was someone else to share the burden with (read: boyfriend/ husband/ sugar daddy)? "All your worries will be settled in that case!", was what I think the friend said to her.

My gal friend and I both laughed at that remark. But how do we really feel about this issue?

I remember 15 months ago, during the time when I was making the same decision to buy my own place when returning to Singapore, two guy friends (one single, the other married) whom I have known for a long time said, on separate occasions, jokingly "Women these days certainly don't need men anymore hor? They have their own Assets." One of them actually said, "Are you sure you want to do this? Guys might get scared off you know."

For both my friend and I, these thoughts simply did not cross our minds. Maybe it's just a Singapore thing to make a big deal out of buying a property, I don't know. For my friend in Hong Kong, it was mainly a financial decision. For me, it was partly financial, and also partly personal. Living spaces are very important for me. After renting apartments for 6 years in Hong Kong, I felt I would really like to create a living space that I was totally comfortable with, since many of the activities I enjoy doing (personal hobbies, entertaining close friends) are done at home. Living with parents was just not an option since I had accumulated so much stuff over the years. In a different property market (like the crazy one now), I might have made the decision to continue renting. But when I did buy my property at that time, I was really quite at peace with it.

I guess this brings to the forefront a larger philosophical question about how one approaches life as a single person in these modern times. Theoretically, there is a much greater degree of choice for a single person as to how he or she wants to spend her time/money/resources (both material and emotional) than a married person might. But somehow, as singles, some people might ironically feel more constrained about life choices as they feel they are somehow in a waiting room, waiting for life to start with the right person who would come along to combine their life resources - someone to give them courage and support to live life more fully than they feel able as single people.

I think we have all been in that waiting room, and some of us may still be in there. Waiting for that person to go on vacations with. To share the mortgage or car loan. To teach Sunday School or to lead bible study with. I think you can kinda tell (after a while) whether a person is or is not in the waiting room

Well, I say to us, "Go live life now! Learn something everyday. Go on that backpacking tour. Start those flute lessons, Love the people around you. Serve God now."

And when and if the "right" person comes along (and this will happen entirely according to His will, with or without one waiting), I think I would want that person to be someone who has not just been sitting in the waiting room either.

(Photo from local property website. Yes, I am looking around again to see whether I can find a place which I like enough to move to. Still just looking. ).